


Plot

by WhenSheReads



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major Illness, Military, Minor Character Death, Role Reversal, Sick Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 11:58:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7844017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenSheReads/pseuds/WhenSheReads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky and Steve, from the beginning to the end of the line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Exposition

**Author's Note:**

> For SWMNBN, on her 31st birthday. I hope that you get everything you wish for this year.
> 
> Also for the Stucky Big Bang 2016, which kept me from abandoning this altogether. There probably won't be artwork, which is my fault for not having a Tumblr and not trying to get in contact with the artist in a timely fashion. 
> 
> Fanfic is my solace these days, and while I don't think this comes close to matching up to some of the amazing things I've read, I'm proud to contribute to the site. 
> 
> And to all the authors out there, thank you.

Winifred Barnes knew she was going to have a winter baby, so it was no surprise to her that, despite the fact she was over two weeks overdue, James Buchanan Barnes was born during a March snowstorm. 

She had not anticipated being unable to get to the hospital, but luckily she had befriended a nurse in her new building, who came as soon as George called.

“The ambulance might not make it but we’ll be all right. No worries. Besides, you need to set a good example for me. I’ve got one on the way myself.”

Sarah Rogers was ruthlessly efficient—she got George to walk Winifred around the room while she lined the mattress with extra towels and sheets, told stories about how she met her husband Joseph and potential baby names to distract her during painful contractions, and made sure they had everything they would need to clean up the baby once it was born. By the time the ambulance arrived, Sarah had found a way to weigh the baby (a solid eight pounds), cleaned up the bed, made sure the afterbirth was ready for disposal, and started to instruct Winifred about breastfeeding. 

After the new family left for the hospital, Sarah tidied the rest of the apartment and made some casseroles to store in the freezer. When Winifred called to thank her, she brushed it off.

“It’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me, I’m sure. It helps keep my mind off of Joseph—he’s an Army man, and he’s overseas right now. So I’m happy to be of service.”  
_____

Indeed, it was something that Winifred ended up doing for Sarah sooner than expected. At the end of May, as Winifred and James were bringing down some of James’s newborn clothes that he had already grown out of and George was helping to build the crib, two men in Army uniforms knocked on the door and informed Sarah that Joseph Steven Rogers would not be returning from the war. As Sarah sat stunned on the couch, George took James back upstairs for a nap and Winifred offered to call and help make arrangements.

“There isn’t anyone but us, you see. Mine and Joseph’s parents both died young—we met in foster care. No siblings. Just each other, until the end of the line. Didn’t think it’d end so soon, but there you have it.” She absently ran her hand over her stomach, tears staining her shirt as Winifred laid a comforting arm across her shoulders. 

So Sarah made the arrangements, and the Barneses made sure the nursery was ready, there was food in the fridge, and people to stand with Sarah as she buried her husband.   
_____

Winifred knew Sarah was having a summer baby, but it was a surprise that, when she accompanied Sarah to the hospital almost a month early, Steven Grant Rogers was born the moment the fireworks began to boom on the Fourth of July. 

They had talked about baby names (both their sons bore their maiden names in the middle), but Sarah could not “saddle” her child with her late husband’s name “and make him feel like he’s meant to be like his dad—I don’t know him well enough yet” and went with his middle name instead. 

Winifred agreed about giving children their own legacy, despite the fact that “it sounds like I named my boy after an unremarkable president.” They laughed about their “all-American” boys and bought up the patriotic clothing they found on clearance at Old Navy after the holiday.  
_____

As the years passed, Sarah declined to date, spending all her time either working or with Steve, who had, despite his premature birth, grown into a lovely and lively child. James ended up with three sisters (Rebecca, Sally, and Mary) and a particularly devastating grin that he used to get himself both in and out of trouble. Steve was often in the Barnes residence due to his mother’s work schedule, and was basically a part of the family—Bucky (as Steve began calling him because “everyone’s named Jimmy already”) had bunk beds and Sarah would prep large meals in advance to thank them. 

One day, Steve came home with a black eye and Bucky was cradling his left arm. Winifred went to fuss over Steve first, but he shook his head, his eyes wide and frightened. 

“Bucky didn’t even fight today, Mrs. Barnes. He hollered and they ran away, but his arm’s been hurtin’ for over a week and he didn’t want to bother you.”

“Steve!”

“It’s true, Buck. It hurts awful by his shoulder, and we weren’t in any fights until today, so it can’t be from that, especially because he didn’t do anything to it. My mom says he ought to go to the doc—I asked her about it and she said it’s always good to check.”

Winifred made an appointment.  
_____

The pediatrician could not offer much, and sent them to a consult with Dr. Erskine, who turned out to be one of the best pediatric oncologists in New York City. The diagnosis of the sarcoma knocked them all for a loop (I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, it’s spread into the shoulder joint; I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, it’s best if we take the whole arm; I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, but we need to do another round of chemotherapy). Sarah came along to the initial appointment and managed to shift her position at the hospital so she could check up on Bucky for them, and even found a way to set up her shifts so that she could care for the girls when the Barneses had to be at work or when Bucky was having treatments. 

Before the surgery, Steve and Bucky spent hours drawing on his left arm in permanent marker. Steve was there when Bucky woke up and his lip trembled as he saw the empty space; he patted Bucky’s good shoulder and said “I know, and after all our hard work. Some people have no appreciation for art.”

Bucky’s laugh rang out and warmed her heart. 

Steve was a constant bright spot in the dark days. He continued to crack jokes when Bucky looked upset, ensured that Bucky always got his favorite Jell-O and popsicles when the nurse offered, read books out loud when Bucky could not move or interact, and talked ceaselessly about all the things they were going to do in the future. He drew them as comic book heroes, Captain America and the Winter Soldier. Lifelong friends, the heroes took turns saving each other. Captain America had a shield (“he’s a protector first, Mrs. Barnes” Steve explained, eyes focused on the paper as they waited for Bucky to return from a scan, “he’s the target for all the bad guys”) and the Winter Soldier a metal arm (“it can do everything—like a Swiss Army knife” her son told her as she held the basin between bouts of vomiting).

If there was one thing that Winifred Barnes was grateful for during the terrible months of her son’s illness, it was that Sarah and Steve Rogers were part of her family.

_____

Sarah Rogers got her diagnosis right before Bucky hit five years of being in remission. She couldn’t help but say a silent prayer that it was her instead of him, even after she got the full results and realized the cancer was terminal.

She didn’t know how to tell Steve she wouldn’t see him graduate. She didn’t know how to ask Winifred and George to take in her son. She didn’t know how to help Bucky understand why he would survive the disease and she would not. 

It might not have been the wisest decision, but she chose not to say anything for as long as she could and tried to enjoy every little moment.

Steve and Bucky were 15 now, getting taller and ganglier as puberty had not quite figured them out yet. Steve still drew constantly, though there were less of the comic book figures of his youth and more technical things in line with whatever he was learning in his art classes. She had landscapes on their walls, stained glass in the window, and even a bowl to hold their keys by the front door when he tried his hand at pottery. He had also channeled his enthusiasm for baseball into a spot on the varsity team. He started his freshman year as the back-up catcher and by the end was starting every game.

Bucky never had Steve’s passion for art and never really had the chance to play baseball due to his health issues, though the walls of the Barneses’ apartment were also adorned with S.G. Rogers paintings and Bucky kept the stats for the team to watch every game. He had found his own niche in math and languages—math because he could learn it from books when he missed a lot of class, and languages because he found Rosetta Stone soothing and helpful to listen to when he was bedridden and could not open his eyes. Steve often went and checked the books and CDs out of the library for him, and found guides about how to say ridiculous and vulgar things in a variety of languages. 

Neither of them said it out loud, but she knew they had found each other as well.   
_____

She managed to keep it hidden from Steve until it was just past his 16th birthday—he and Bucky had been allowed to take the train to see the Dodgers play the Yankees (her son had somehow become attached to the concept of “the original New York team” and refused to root for either of the current teams) and she gathered the courage to knock on the Barneses’ door and ask them for one last favor. Both Winifred and George cried, but she remained strong until Steve and Bucky burst in the door with hats askew and half a bag of peanuts. Steve took one look at the scene, handed the peanuts to Bucky, and kneeled beside her.

“You’re sick, aren’t you, ma?” 

The tears were warm as they slipped down her cheek. “Yeah, baby.”

He buried his face in her lap and pooled his tears with hers. Bucky kneeled beside Steve and pulled their bodies close, Steve grasping for his hand, Bucky burying his own face in Steve’s shoulder. Winifred gave her a watery smile. 

“We’ll all be here for you, Sarah. Don’t you worry.”  
_____

Time seemed to pass quickly after that, though she almost made it another year. Her son was set on discussing his future with her, so she would not “miss anything at all.” Steve was set on going to West Point and joining the military like his father, and she made peace with his decision after the initial fear that he would meet the same end as his father thanks to a discussion with Bucky. He came to her one afternoon when Steve had fall conditioning for baseball. He made her a cup of tea and brought it to the couch, where she had been sitting since returning from chemo earlier in the day.

“Steve said you aren’t crazy about West Point.”

“You know what happened to Joseph, dear…I’m afraid for him.”

“It’s hard, knowing that he wants to fight. It’s harder knowing he’s going somewhere that I can’t follow. He’s basically my left arm, you know?” He tried to give her that brilliant smile, but she knew why it would not shine the same.

“You love him.”

“Of course I do—he’s my best friend.”

“James Buchanan Barnes, don’t lie to me now. You are in love with my son.” 

He turned his head away, nodding slowly. “I am, m’am. Very much so.”

“So why are you okay with him going away? If you love him so much.”

He picked up his head and looked her in the eye. “I don’t think him going to West Point is him leaving me—it is him pursuing his dreams. I want that for him. He wants the same things for me. We talk about it.”

She grasped his hand, a small smile gracing her face. “I suppose he and I should talk about it as well.”

“Steve really wants this. He won’t go if you tell him you don’t want him to, though.” 

“Don’t worry. I’ll give Steve my blessing. And you know that I’m so happy that you and Steve are there for each other. In any way—we have been so blessed to have met you and your family.”

“Same.”

If there was one thing that Sarah Rogers was grateful for as she succumbed to the cancer, it was that Steve was loved and would not grow up without a family.


	2. Rising Action

Sarah Rogers passed away quietly in her sleep before Steve’s senior year. He and Bucky came out to the Barneses when he moved in, and Winifred and George worked out ground rules for behavior and decorum. (“It’s not that we have a problem with it dears, it’s that you have younger sisters—there’s a time and there’s a place, and it’s not when they’re home.”. Steve followed them to the letter despite Bucky’s best efforts. 

Steve got into West Point. Bucky got into Columbia. They visited Steve’s mother and told her all about it, and their plans for the future: Bucky would get a job in the city and get an apartment, Steve would complete his service obligations and find a job outside of the service so they could be together openly. 

Steve had to be at school before Bucky, and since they couldn’t say goodbye properly there, they said their goodbyes before Steve and George loaded up the truck. 

“To the end of the line.”

_____

 

Steve Rogers met Peggy Carter at West Point when he attempted to provide assistance that was neither wanted nor necessary. As he tried to step between Peggy and Hodges, who questioned why a “Limey from across the pond” was attending a prestigious U.S. military school, she shoved him aside and kneed Hodges right in his groin. 

If Steve hadn’t been in love with Bucky, he might have fallen in love with her. As such, he held out his hand and said “Nice work.”

She looked at him with disdain. “Thank you. As you can see, your presence, while attractive, is entirely unnecessary.”

“I thought…”

“Clearly, I don’t need your thoughts or your help.”

“I know you don’t. But that doesn’t mean someone shouldn’t have your back.”

“Having my back would be letting me deal with it.”

“I see that now. I can’t stay away from a fight, I guess. Fatal flaw and all that.”

Her lips twitched. “Well, keep your hamartia to yourself.”

He smiled. “Duly noted, m’am.”

She raised a carefully arched eyebrow. “And now you’ve called me m’am.”

“That is how a soldier addresses a superior female officer.”

“And your name, Soldier?”

“Steven Grant Rogers, m’am.”

“All right Rogers. At ease. I will tell you if I require your services. Until then, go about your business.”

“Yes m’am. Thank you, m’am.” He grinned widely at her and left. 

On the phone with Bucky later that week, he mentioned that he’d met “an actual, honest-to-god dame. I mean, not royalty, but she is British…but she’s like Hepburn or something.”

He could hear Bucky chuckle. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were sweet on her.” 

“Nah, there’s this other dumbass. You caught me.”

“West Point is making you vulgar.”

“I think that’s just missing you. Sounds like Columbia is making you a workaholic. You think I can’t hear you typing in the background?”

“That’s just missing you…and the dual engineering/language major I’m trying out.”

“I feel like a slacker for doing art history.”

“You like art history. I like engineering and languages.”

“You figure out which one?”

“Da.”

“Jesus Christ, Buck. You couldn’t pick a country we haven’t fought tons of wars against?”

“Aren’t you Mr. America? Do they know your birthday is the fourth of July?”

“Pretty sure it’s on my records.”

“So this dame of yours? Is she sweet on you?”

“She didn’t kill me. Not the same thing.”

“Well, I know it’s all don’t ask don’t tell, but don’t string her along either. You know I’m not ashamed of you, but don’t do anything that will get you into trouble.”

“You know me.”

“I do know you. That’s why I’m tellin’ you.”

“End of the line, B.”

“I love you too.”  
_____

Bucky had nothing to worry about—not because Peggy didn’t like Steve (“I’m really quite fond of you,” she noted on multiple occasions), but because she picked up on the fact that Steve had a “significant someone.”

“I’m pleased about that, actually. Now I don’t have to worry about any romantic nonsense with you. I’m sure you know you are quite attractive.” She smirked at as his cheeks grew pink. “We can be allies. If I’m around you, I won’t get romantic nonsense from anyone I don’t want either.”

He introduced her to Bucky as soon as he could, and the two developed a familiar banter. Bucky offered his opinions on Peggy’s outfits when Steve had to take a date to a formal event, and when he had a lead on a job for an Army liaison at a company he was going to work for after graduation he checked in with Peggy and set her up with Tony Stark, who he had impressed at a robotics competition. It didn’t impress Steve as much.

“You mean the Tony Stark that’s always in the news?”

“You think he’d let there be another Tony Stark?”

“I’m not sure that’s the kind of think he can control, B.”

“I think you are seriously underestimating how much money he has.”

“Can you trust him?”

“Probably more than I can trust most bosses. He’s really invested in this military work—he wants to have a positive legacy rather than a negative one.”

“You mean all the weapons…”

“Steve, that wasn’t him. He’s called it off. Now he’s trying to figure out positive…”

“I don’t want to argue with you. I…”

“You know how much I love you, right?”

There is a pause, a quiet response. “End of the line.”

“I know that he can be impulsive and make some questionable choices. But I’ll be working with him closely—he wants me to come on international trips because of my language abilities. He’s offered me an apartment in Stark Tower for us so I can basically be on call, but it’ll keep me busy so I won’t be sitting by myself, worrying about your sorry ass all the time. I’ll be more connected to the military, which I kind of miss after ROTC, but it’ll keep me closer to you. And it’s selfish on my part to get Peggy involved, but you know if anyone can call him on his bullshit, it’s your dame. Working here’s a risk, but I think it’s worth it.”

He thinks he can feel Steve’s mood shift despite the difference between them.

“You didn’t mention the apartment. Might be worth the arm you have left.”

His own laugh catches him by surprise. “You fucking asshole.”

“Doesn’t seem to bother you.”

“Nah. Known it for a long time.”

_____

Steve was about to deploy for his first tour, but he couldn’t leave until he had everything settled. 

The apartment they were given in Stark Tower was an impressive piece of real estate, but it still felt like him and Bucky. A wall of family photos, with Sarah and Joe Rogers in the center. Bucky’s favorite pieces of Steve’s art in his office. Comfortable furniture, a mismatched crop of plates, bowls, and mugs cobbled together from dining halls, parents’ houses, business/school trips, and vacations. They were a unit in every way but one.

Until now. 

The proposal hadn’t been romantic, but honest. They were packing the contents of Bucky’s apartment when Steve took a break to go sit out on the fire escape. Bucky had looked for him to help him tape up a box. When Steve saw him come out to see him, he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I want to make it official, Buck.”

“You rarely ever call me Buck anymore.”

“You know…”

“Less questions, no one…”

“Right. But I don’t want there to be any questions between us. Or about who gets notified if something happens to me.”

“Steve…”

“I’ll have your parents listed, which is the best I can do right now. I just want everything to be legally ours. What’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine.”

“We’re both on the lease here…”

“Right. But I’ve made you my beneficiary on everything. And in my will.”

Bucky shakes his head. “Don’t…”

“And I know we can’t get married or anything right now, but as soon as we can, I want to. It’s coming, Buck. There’s gonna be a day sometime in the near future when I can kiss you while I’m in my dress blues, and it’ll be beautiful.”

“Is this a proposal?”

“Were you expecting a ring?” He pulls the thin band of silver from his pocket. “I mean, I figured you studied Russian so you had an excuse to wear a ring on the wrong hand.”

“The lack of arm wasn’t a good enough excuse?”

“Nah. You used that up to get out of reps in ROTC.”

“Let’s see if it fits before I agree to anything.”

“You think I didn’t sneak size your ring finger while you were sleeping?”

“I don’t find you particularly sneaky.”

“I’m being considered for a specialty unit, you know.”

“For sneakiness?”

“Stealth.”

“Ah, the fancy word for sneaky.”

“Official.”

Bucky paused as Steve slid the ring on so the words were showing clearly. End of the line.

“If the ring fits, you must…”

“Marry it.”  
_____

The next five years pass quickly to Bucky, who spent long days working on projects at StarkTech, evenings writing to Steve or reading research, and weekends with his family providing him with welcome distraction. Steve gets promoted through the ranks with a rapidity that, while it is not a surprise, unsettles him. With each promotion there is more secrecy and more apologies. The time between tours only offers Bucky moments when he is selfish—he wants more time. He wants to be with Steve, supporting him.

When Tony offers Bucky the chance to work on a secret military project that will get him some clearance, he jumps at the chance. He called Peggy to tell her, only to find that she had been called back overseas, and will only be consulting as needed.

His new clearance did not tell him why, but he did find out that she was in contact with Steve. And that she could get him video access to Steve, who was usually too far out to get a good Internet connection. 

Steve looked tired. 

Steve looked beautiful.

“Peggy took the rest of my unit out for a meeting—I’ve only got five minutes.”

“I love you.”

“End of the line, B. Always.”

“Did you hear they repealed it?”

Steve’s smile lit up the screen. “Yeah. Pegs told me.”

“Next time you’re home…”

“I think the next time I come home I’ll stay home.”

“Really?”

“Things are going better over here—couple of missions, and Peggy thinks they’ll be able to use my talents stateside.”

“You guys find a bunch of art over there for you to historize?”

“That’s not even a word.”

“I’m just sayin’…”

“I learned some stuff on tour. Not art history related, but enough that I could have a career. And I can have both a career and you now.”

“We’re going to have everything that we want. We just have to be patient.”

He could hear a knock at the door. Steve smiled again.

“I love you.”

“End of the line, pal.”  
_____

Bucky was pretty sure that Tony Stark had never met a challenge he couldn’t conquer, even though their plan to help disabled veterans after a prototype machine went awry…again.

“Buckaroo, our test subject backed out again.”

“I’m thinking the lack of a medical doctor is freaking them out.”

“I got Bruce.”

“He’s a different kind of doctor.”

“I’m all kinds of doctors.”

“I could do it.”

“Excuse me, ace?”

“I could be the test subject. I have a little military clearance so they wouldn’t have trouble okaying me, and we have a way to make the procedure less invasive, so there isn’t the same amount of risk. And this could be a huge game changer. We can’t wait to bring someone else in.”

Tony looked at Bucky curiously. 

“And what about Captain America? How will he feel with you dallying as a science experiment?”

“I never should have told you about the comics he drew…”

“He’s Captain America because he is actually an Army captain, he looks like a model, and he was born on the fucking Fourth of July. And he’s going to want to know why you are so keen to Winter Soldier yourself.”

“Steve will understand. He knows I wouldn’t do anything to risk us. He trusts me, and I trust you and our work. We can do this.”

“Which prototype, then? Basic model?”

“Well, for starters. But we’ll have to add some of the bells and whistles eventually, so let’s see what we can come up with. I’ll schedule a conversation with Steve and you get Pepper on the paperwork—let’s see if we can get the ball rolling.”

Things came together pretty quickly. Pepper had the paperwork signed and delivered within the week, and Tony and Bruce worked out a way to implant a shoulder socket that would allow them to attach and detach different arm prototypes to make the procedures less invasive. 

They scheduled a date for the procedure. He checked in with Peggy and asked her to check in on Steve in an hour or so. And then he called Steve.

“Hey, Buck. Working late again?”

“Working on a lot of projects with Tony. Got a new one I want to tell you about.”

“New?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of an amazing opportunity.”

“I’d love to hear about it.”

“You remember the Winter Soldier?”

“The comics I drew when we were kids?”

“Yep. And he had that awesome metal arm.”

“Like a Swiss Army Knife. What about it?”

“Tony and I are making it.”

“Seriously? For what?”

“For injured veterans—we are designing a whole line of prosthetics. We are kind of re-envisioning what Stark produces. Pretty cool, right?”

“Sounds fucking amazing. God, I’m so proud of you. You’re doing such great things, Buck.”

“Yeah. We think we’re going to be able to test out the prototype next week.”

“You got a guy?”

“Sure do. We’ve got the original…” He let his voice trail off, and Steve sat back in his chair, shaking his head.

“Not you, right?

“Why not me?”

“To get something to work like a real limb, it’s going to have to connect to your brain somehow, which basically means you’re going to have experimental brain surgery, and I can think of a 1,000 reasons why that is not a good idea.”

“Do you think we’d be testing it if we weren’t 99% sure of what we were doing?”

“I’ve met Stark—he’s not exactly the most patient soul in the world.”

“But you know me and you trust me, right?”

“More than anything in the world, Buck.” He runs a hand through his hair, mussing it up a bit. “I just wish I was there for you. I’ve always been there for you, you know?”

“You still are, punk. Just not physically. The hard part will be replacing my shoulder with a new sort of socket. We’re going to use nanites to help make the connections with the nerve endings in the brain rather than cutting open my skull, so there’s not much risk at all.”

“Jerk. You could have led with that. But still. I just wish I was there. It’s been too long. I miss you.”

“Miss you too. Don’t you have leave soon? I got the paperwork. Maybe I can get Tony to delay…”

“That’s what I have to tell you, actually. We’ve got another mission. Longer one—should be out about a month. But I’m hoping we’ll get leave after that.”

“Hoping? For fuck’s sake, Steve…”

“You know I’m in charge of a specialty unit. Can’t say much else. One day I’ll be able to tell you everything. Soon, I hope.” He paused, looking over his shoulder. “Actually, I have to get going in another minute or so. And I don’t know when I can get back in touch. Jesus Christ…”

“Peggy there?”

“Bet you told her to come.”

“I’m always looking out for you.”

“I know.”

“I’ll have Tony send you e-mails when it’s done. And I’ll send them as soon as I’m totally acclimated. I’ll type with two hands. And you’ll have something to put the new ring on.”

Steve smiled at him, and held his hand up to the camera. “I’m with you ‘til the end of the line. Always.”

Bucky smiled back. “End of the line.”  
_____

Before the surgery, he made sure Tony had all the contact information for Steve. His mom and dad came for support, along with his youngest sister. 

He hated to admit it, but he wished Steve had been there. Though the first few days were pretty hazy—he remembers being in a lot of pain, his mom comforting him while his dad and Tony had heated conversations and Mary was on her phone—Steve was always his rock when he was sick. He didn’t dwell on the terrible things and distracted him and gave him a reason to smile.  
_____

The first time he found himself using his left arm to grab his mother’s hand, though? That definitely made him smile. And he smiled the entire time Tony ran him through some basic tests, and the entire time he wrote out the e-mail to Steve telling him about the prosthetic.

Steve didn’t respond, and despite knowing that Steve was likely unreachable, he couldn’t help but worry.  
_____

A week after he had been officially discharged, he was in the lab, letting Tony test the reflexes of the combat arm, when Jarvis interrupted.

“Excuse me, sir.”

“Jarvis, you know I don’t like to be disturbed when I am messing with Barnes’s brain.”

“You’re really tinkering with my arm.”

“But it’s connected to your brain, so I could be messing with your brain.”

“Sir…”

“You haven’t even gotten near my brain, Stark. The nanites do the dirty work.”

“I am in your head, don’t even…”

“Sir, there are military personnel who are requesting to speak with Mr. Barnes. They are quite insistent they must speak with him in person.”

“Jesus Christ. Barnes….”

They were coming to talk to him in person. Steve was likely dead.

“Where are they, Jarvis?” His voice was steady, but his right hand was sweating. 

“They are still in the lobby, Mr. Barnes.”

“Send them up to my quarters, please.”

“Of course.”

“Barnes, I…”

“Stark, get in contact with Peggy. Either she doesn’t know at all or she knows more than I’m about to. See if you can get video.”

They were coming to talk to him in person. Steve was likely dead.

“Yeah, sure, I…”

“And have Happy go get my mom and dad. They’re his secondary next of kin and they’ll want to see me, and I’ll want to see them.”

“Can I…”

“Please.” 

They were coming to talk to him in person. Steve was likely dead.

_____

The military personnel would not look him in the eye. Bile rose in the back of his throat. 

“We regret to inform you that Captain Steven G. Rogers is currently missing in action. We cannot relinquish further details at this time. We are…”

Steve was not dead yet. 

Bucky nods. “I get it. Thank you. I just…I know my parents are on your list. They’re on their way here, and I’d like to be the one to tell them. You can go back, okay?”

“Sir, we…”

“Mr. Barnes, I have Ms. Carter on video for you.”

“Patch her through please, Jarvis.”

Steve was not dead yet.

“James.” Peggy looked as if she’d not slept yet—he could see that she’d been crying (eyes slightly red, her usually perfect make-up nonexistent).

“I’m here, Pegs. Can you tell these gentlemen that they can leave now, and that you and I can inform my parents of Captain Rogers’s status?”

“Yes, do return to base, soldiers. I fear you will have more of these house calls to make and your time will be better spent with those other families. You can consider that an order from a superior officer.”

“Yes m’am.”

Steve was not dead yet. 

Bucky was going to do everything he could to bring him home. 

It took over a week to get a useful lead on what had actually happened. Peggy had known that Steve’s unit was on a top secret mission, but offered no additional details. They knew something had happened when they lost all contact with Steve, but they had not informed the family until the team missed two check-ins in a row. The Army had stealth tracking capabilities on the vehicle and found sitting out in the open, no trace of the soldiers who had been travelling in it. 

When they had no ransom demand or viral videos, Peggy became convinced it was Hydra. She argued to get Tony and Bucky clearance (“I need their technical wizardry and language prowess, and you need to not worry about arresting them,” she declared to her superior). Hydra was a rogue science division, infamous amongst military personnel for their willingness to steal emerging technologies to make weapons to sell illegally and to sacrifice both soldiers and captives as test subjects. 

Bucky tried not to think about what they might be doing to Steve. 

He failed.  
_____

Stark had intercepted documents by hacking into a “ridiculously hidden server, of course, not a problem for me, but it made for a fun afternoon.” Bucky had it translated fairly quickly and found out there was a facility in Azzano. Peggy had a team waiting—including a person who could break into facilities with ease (Scott), a point person to man the perimeter (Clint), a person to cause a diversion (Thor), the person who could do everything (Natasha), and the person running communications (Maria).

Since Natasha, equal with Peggy as the scariest most competent person Bucky had ever met in his life, was going to lead the team, he and Tony sought her out as she packed up gear.

“I want to go with you.”

“You’re a civilian—absolutely not.”

“I have military clearance.”

“And zero combat experience.”

“Not entirely true. I’ve been field testing with Stark.”

“Testing what?” 

Stark, never one for subtlety, did a fly-by in his Iron Man suit. He would have the suit damaged if Natasha had been frightened. As it was, she just had the bazooka aimed at him, ready to fire.

“Easy, Red. I can handle some fire but up close without time to get the repulsor ready? That’s a tall order.”

“Can you follow directions?”

“I can make you a map.”

“If you can’t follow directions, then you are going to compromise the lives of the entire team. I’ll just fire now and save myself the trouble.”

“Tony, this is not the time or the place—just listen to her.”

“Fine. I can do a demo for you so you can see what I can do?”

“Yes. And tell me what kind of suit Barnes over here has, since I’m assuming that’s what he’s on about.”

“I don’t have a suit so much as a battle arm.”

“Battle arm?”

“Deflects bullets, fires repulsor blasts…battle arm.”

“Demo, both of you, 20 minutes, outside.”

She turned on her heel without saying another word. Stark looked as if he was in a haze. Bucky shook his head.

“Don’t you have one redhead to pine over already?”

“Can one have too many?”

“Should I call Pepper and ask?”

“No! You should wait here while I get your battle arm.”

The demo was not easy—Natasha had recruited Peggy and Maria to watch with her and put them through their paces. The three of them consulted while Bucky and Tony stood there like children being scolded, and were finally told they could come “if and only if you follow all orders, or else you will face legal actions.”

Bucky signed every form they produced—the only thing that mattered was Steve.


	3. Turning Point

The facility was worse than he imagined. The conditions were deplorable, with rats scurrying around and god knows what else—he kept his eyes on what was in front of him and took a deep breath, sticking to corners and taking out Hydra agents from behind. Peggy was on the other side, and he took it as a good sign when they met up just outside a huge iron door, which he used the repulsor in his hand to burn off the lock.

They found multiple cages, each holding a man who had been captured, but Steve was not in any of them. Clint and Natasha arrived soon after, radioing to Tony about the conditions and what they could do to transport the hostages back to the states. 

“He’s not here, Peggy. What if he….” He was helping remove the chains off the men they had found, but he couldn’t hide his fear anymore. 

“We will find him, James. This is the 107th—his regiment. We are in the right place.”

The man that Bucky had just freed grabbed her wrist. Peggy placed her other hand over it, and tried to soothe him.

“You are going home. I’m so sorry it took us this long to find you, but…”

“Bucky.”

Bucky stills in the doorway. “You know me?”

The man nods. “Captain Rogers had pictures.” 

Bucky swallows. “And is he…”

“They took him. Some of us were hurt and he went with them so they would leave us alone.” The man shakes his head. “Walked him through the door to the left. Last time I saw him, it’s been…” 

Bucky is off at a run. Peggy is shouting that they need to secure the area and Natasha has fallen in behind him, but all he knows is that Steve made it here and might still be here and the other thoughts are all too much to bear.

There is a short, balding man with glasses coming out of a room, grasping folders that are sliding from his palms as he tries to shove them in a bag. His eyes widen when he sees Bucky and Natasha, and Bucky just knows that he has done something to Steve. He is running toward him when Natasha catches up and tells him to check the room as she pursues the man, and Bucky follows her directions without thinking. 

The room is dark, dirty, and cold, an old medical facility that had clearly seen better days. Bloody gauze is piled in a corner, and there are various machines and syringes strewn about. There are body bags, sealed. He reaches toward one, hand shaking, and starts to pull the zipper down.

He hears a deep voice, cracking from overuse, muttering incoherently. He would know that voice anywhere, in any condition, and he walks toward it before he realizes it is saying Captain Steven G. Rogers …46…23…62…

And there he is. 

Steve, his Steve, laying on an exam table. He tries to rouse him but doesn’t know where he can touch him—Steve’s face is a mash of purple and black, there is blood-stained bandaging all over his torso, his arms are tied above his head and at least one of his legs is visibly broken. 

“Steve? Steve, it’s me, I’m here. It’s Bucky—I came to get you.”

Steve stops muttering, but he does not open his eyes, and goes so still so suddenly that Bucky is terrified that it’s the end. He begins untying Steve’s hand.

“Peggy? Tony? I found him. He was talking at first but now he’s quiet and it’s bad. I need the medics ASAP. Are we secure?”

“Natasha captured Dr. Zola and is planning to interrogate him. We think we’ve got everything else taken care of and are evacuating the men. The medical staff are en route—Natasha gave us your location.”

“He’s still breathing, but he’s so cold. And there’s so much blood, Peggy.”

“Bucky. Can you hear me? Tell me you can hear me.”

“I can hear you.”

“You found Steve, and you will make sure he gets the best medical care possible. He hasn’t given up, and you shouldn’t either. Do you understand?”

“Yes m’am.”

He hears footsteps in the corridor, and suddenly there are doctors and medics nudging him away from Steve, and the small distance feels like a physical ache.

“Hey, Sparky.” He turns to see Tony in his Iron Man suit, face plate retracted, with a grim smile. “I’ll get all the information left in here and the condition of the room. Can you just clarify what you did when you came in?”

“I…I took the chains off of his hands. They were above his head. They’re on the floor now. I was afraid to do anything else. He…”

“It’s okay. That’s great. Just what I needed to know. Looks like they’re going to scoop and run with him, so why don’t you go in the helicopter? There’s a seat up front so you won’t interfere, but you’ll be with him. Okay?”

He nods. He follows. He stares blankly out the window, focusing on the heartbeat that he can hear above the thrum of voices and helicopter blades. It slows and speeds up, but it never stops. 


	4. Falling Action

When they land, one of the medics comes to help him down from his seat, giving him a blanket and directing him toward a waiting room. He notes the German and deduces they are at Landstuhl. The medic tells him that they need to get Captain Rogers urgent medical care, because his blood pressure is dangerously low and they believe it is related to severe internal bleeding. He was having trouble breathing, and many of his exposed wounds were infected. He has many broken bones as well, which have not been set properly. While they are hopeful because he made it this far, there is a long, long way to go and Bucky will just have to be patient. 

He nods. He sits quietly. He doesn’t know how long he is in the waiting room before Peggy comes in with a cup of coffee and a protein bar.

“They don’t know how long it’ll be,” he offered as he took her offerings. “If he becomes unstable they’ll have to stop, and there is a lot of damage they want to fix surgically. They’re hoping they can take care of all the major internal problems, but this is probably the first of a lot of surgeries.” He took a sip of coffee, staring at the cup. “I’m going to have to buy this place a better coffee maker. Maybe get Tony to put in a Starbucks or something.”

“Perhaps, now that they have better tea,” she said with a small smile. “Tea is just as important.”

“Sure.” 

“I know you don’t want to leave the waiting room right now…”

“Peggy, there is no way I can help Stark with the…”

“He’s not asking. One of the soldiers we rescued would like to see you. He’s on the floor below, so you wouldn’t be far. He’s the one that directed us to Steve. He said he has something for you.”

Bucky unwrapped the protein bar and took a bite. “He doing okay?”

“They’re all rather malnourished and some of them have injuries that should have been dealt with, but all are expected to survive.”

“That’s good. I’m glad.”

“So will you go see him?”

“I’ve gotta be here for Steve.” He took another bite of the protein bar and a sip of coffee. “It’s really important.”

“You’ll still be here. I promise you won’t miss anything. Just 15 minutes—you can pop downstairs and be right back.”

He kept eating the protein bar. Peggy took the opportunity to kneel down in front of him.

“James Buchanan Barnes, these are his men. He went with those Hydra barbarians for their safety. They are important to him, and they know how important you are to him. Do not take this request lightly.”

He still couldn’t look her in the eye. “Okay.”

“Good.” She said, putting a hand on his arm. “Finish that snack and then get on with it. Steve is always ahead of schedule.”

“Don’t I know it.”

Once he finished, Peggy gave him the room number and he reluctantly left the room, after making sure his phone was on so he could take a call from her at a moment’s notice. The door to the room was ajar, but he knocked anyway.

“It’s James Barnes—I was told you wanted to speak with me?”

“Yes sir. Come in.” The man in the bed was hooked up to a couple monitors and had an IV, but looked a lot better than he had when he was first found. It gave him some hope. “Cap said you go by Bucky.”

“Yeah, my middle name’s Buchanan. He thought there were too many Jimmy’s when we were kids so he gave me a new one.”

“He called me Dum-Dum.”

“I feel like there’s a story here.”

“I asked him to. Childhood buddy—he got it.”

“We…”

“He told us about you. I mean, he always told us about you—his best pal, toughest guy he knew. Then we got caught, and he told us about the two of you.”

“Well, he…” Dum-Dum put a hand up.

“He made me promise to give you something. I’m not sure where my things are, but in my pocket…”

He goes to the closet and retrieves the clear bag of belongings. The clothes are dingy. A bowler hat sits on top of them.

“I wouldn’t let them cut anything off—I had to beg to keep the uniform, but you know. They’re used to guys bringing stuff back for other guys. They got it. It’s the jacket—inside right pocket.” 

A letter.

“When did he…”

“They only took weapons off us—and Cap always carried around paper and a pencil. Liked to sketch to sooth his nerves. Once they saw he had a pencil they took it, but he scrawled this out first. Made me promise. I had to watch him write it. If you don’t mind, I’d rather not watch you read it.”

“I…thank you. Thank you.”

Dum-Dum nodded at him and waved him out. 

He didn’t go back to the waiting room immediately. He found a single-stall restroom, locked the door, grabbed some paper towels, and sat himself in the back corner.

And read.

Dear Buck,

I love you. I’ve loved you for years, and I’ll love you until the end of the line. 

My unit was captured after they set off a roadside bomb by our humvee…I made it through that okay, but a lot of my guys were injured and while I was trying to get us to safety they found us. They want one of us to answer for what they perceive to be the American crimes against their leaders. And it’s got to be me.

I know it sounds stupid, but I’m the captain. They’re my guys, and I have to do this for them. Most of them are too injured to be able to withstand any torture for long, and that would just result in more people getting tortured. I’ve done the training and passed it with flying colors—they were real impressed with me at the academy and...I don’t have a better solution.

Plus, no one else here has what I have to hold on to. If I make it through this, it’s because I have you waiting for me. If I don’t, know that I held on, and I fought for us. I’m going to fight so hard, Buck. This isn’t me giving up. This is me believing in us. I think we’re strong enough. I’ve got to believe that right now.

So this letter is just in case, because I can’t go with the men who captured us without saying all these things to you again. 

I’m giving the letter to Dum-Dum (there’s a story there, but he won’t tell it), but I hope that you never read this section…I’m afraid if you read it you’ll think we weren’t enough. But we were everything, and sometimes everything isn’t enough to stop the world from going on. 

Don’t miss me too much—I’ll always be with you. Anytime you see fireworks, think of me and now that I’m watching over you. Don’t be afraid to find someone else—I want you to smile and enjoy life, more than anything. I don’t want to look down on you and see you unhappy—don’t do that to me. 

You have fought and overcome so much—you’ve always been an inspiration to me. You can do anything in the world, James Buchanan Barnes. I’ll always believe in you. I can’t wait to see what amazing things you contribute to the world.

If this is the end of the line, then so be it. It was a great one. Remember it, and remember me. Draw a new one, and see where it goes. 

Yours forever and for always,

Steve

_____

Steve did not wake up the first week after his capture. He had numerous surgeries—to stop the major internal bleeding so he could be stable enough to have more invasive surgeries, to resect part of his right lung and the parts of his intestines that were dying, to fix internal bleeding from “complications,” to place rods in his spine to help the fractures heal, to try and make him better. 

The doctors used phrases like “touch and go,” “the next 24 hours,” “don’t get your hopes up,” and “wait and see.” 

Bucky showered in the hospital room, consulted with Stark and Peggy for work as needed via tablet, gave detailed reports to the Army about Project Winter Soldier (he was both horrified and honored that Stark named the project after Steve’s childhood comic) and the rescue effort, was coerced into eating by his worried parents, researched rehabilitation hospitals, and watched as machines kept Steve alive.

_____

Steve did not wake up the second week after his capture. He had more surgery to stabilize broken bones and manage whatever bleeding the doctors were worried about. He had a little more color in his face after the last effort, but it turned out to be a persistent low-grade fever rather than improvement. 

The doctors brought more blood and more antibiotics and tried to reassure Bucky that Steve was doing “better than they could have hoped for.”

Bucky showered in the hospital room, consulted with Stark and Peggy for work as needed via tablet, answered additional questions about Project Winter Soldier and the rescue effort, was coerced into eating by his worried parents, researched rehabilitation hospitals, and watched as machines kept Steve alive.

_____

Steve did not wake up the third week after his capture. The low-grade fever did not turn into a full-blown infection. The low blood-pressure alarm did not sound, and he did not need to be rushed into surgery. 

The doctors were cautiously optimistic, using “when” instead of “if” and began the process of bringing Steve out of the induced coma. 

Bucky showered in the hospital room, consulted with Stark and Peggy for work as needed via tablet, answered additional questions about Project Winter Soldier and the rescue effort, was coerced into eating by his worried parents, researched rehabilitation hospitals, read Sports and Arts sections of the newspaper out loud, and watched as machines kept Steve alive.

_____

Steve wakes up slowly the fourth week after his capture. He first opens his eyes one afternoon while Bucky is there, reading about the trading deadline. Bucky stops mid-sentence and clutches at Steve’s hand, saying his name. Steve turns his head, blinks, and closes his eyes again. 

The next time, Steve turns his head and squeezes Bucky’s hand before going back to sleep. 

Then he was able to answer the doctor’s questions by squeezing Bucky’s hand. 

Then he was able to tap out “I love you” in Morse code on Bucky’s wrist. 

He smiles at Mr. and Mrs. Barnes. 

He places his hand on the tablet when Bucky skyped Peggy.

The doctors take Steve off the ventilator and begin to discuss future surgeries, physical therapy, rehabilitation, etc. 

Bucky takes notes on everything doctors say Steve might need, showers in the hospital room, consults with Stark and Peggy for work as needed via tablet, is coerced into eating by his worried parents, researches rehabilitation hospitals, read Sports and Arts sections of the newspaper out loud, and waits for the seconds that Steve is awake. 

_____

Steve spends another week in the hospital at Landstuhl, then is transferred to Walter Reed. Bucky waits for him during the additional “minor” surgeries and gets into arguments with the Army personnel who want to get a statement from Steve. 

Steve has to re-learn some important things. He has all his memories (whether or not he remembers his capture doesn’t come up, but Bucky thinks he might be hiding something) but words are hard. He had a bad concussion that didn’t require invasive medical treatment but apparently had more of an impact than the doctors realized. Steve’s eyesight has diminished and he ends up needing prescription lenses before he can work on reading. The brain damage also makes it hard for him to distinguish some colors apart from one another, which would frustrate him with his art background if he could hold a brush. Or sit in a chair. Or stand at an easel.

The rehabilitation hospital they move him to in New York is excellent, and Stark springs for the best staff his money can buy. Steve’s speech improves. They work out a system for figuring out colors. He starts to learn how to feed himself again. He spends time sitting in a chair, a pillow on his abdomen to brace the healing muscles. He walks slowly, limping, with a walker. He might always need a cane.

Bucky is able to spend most of his time with Steve, wiping his eyes when he cries and calming him down when he gets frustrated. He tells Steve that he is beautiful, and that he loves him.

Steve always says he loves him back, to the end of the line.   
_____

It takes months before Steve is able to come home—there are lots of setbacks due to the internal injuries. Bucky does his best to deal with all of them. For example, Steve has to eat a whole new diet to accommodate the fact that he lost the majority of his intestines. Bucky found recipes and worked on making them as appetizing as possible, for when Steve actually had an appetite again. He also stocked up on things like protein shakes to help Steve gain weight—during his time in captivity he suffered from malnutrition and lost muscle mass, so for the first time in his life he was underweight.

Steve is now missing a lobe from his right lung, and there is residual damage to both. Bucky rearranges the bedroom so that they can keep an oxygen unit by Steve’s bedside, and Stark did what he could to make sure that the air filtering in to the apartment was as clean as possible. Bucky got multiple inhalers—one for the car, one for each end of the apartment, one to keep on his person, and one to travel with Steve—so that they would not be caught unaware. 

Steve’s spleen had to be removed, which made him more susceptible to infections…as do all his other health issues, really. Bucky and Stark talk about building a bubble, but that seems obnoxious, so they build a room into the foyer of the apartment that sterilizes things before they come in. It won’t help Steve when he leaves the apartment, but it will keep things controlled enough.

Steve doesn’t say much about any of it. Steve tries to eat at least half the food Bucky brings him, and tries to hide it if he has to throw up. In bed, he turns his back to Bucky when he puts on the nasal cannula, and protests (well, shakes his head and frowns) on the days Bucky insists he use the C-PAP at night. Sometimes when the pain hits he reaches for Bucky’s hand and squeezes as hard as he can. 

Steve always says I love you but he’s stopped looking Bucky in the eyes when he says it. 

_____

There are days that Steve wishes Bucky never found him on that table. 

“Steve, please just try this. If it makes things worse you can stop. I just…I can’t make it better. I’m not enough.”

“Buck, you are…”

“No, babe. And that’s not your fault, or my fault. This is just bigger than us. We can get through it, but we need help. You need to be able to voice the things you aren’t ready to share with me, or complain about me.”

“Oh, I complain about you plenty” he tries to crack a smile, but Bucky is staring through him.

“Peggy doesn’t count, now that I work with her. Something outside of our people.”

When Bucky drops him off at the VA, he doesn’t know where to go. He has the room number and the floor and all that, but everything seems so big. Maybe he wasn’t ready for this.

_____

Sam Wilson turns out to be a lifesaver. He meets with Steve one-on-one, even though Steve is 30 minutes late. 

“You know, you’d think they’d make this place a little more accessible for the handicap. Took me ages to get here.” Steve gestures to his cane; Sam gestures to the seats.

“You’d think people that notice you struggling are just going to automatically help, but once they find out you’re stubborn they wait for you to ask. Did you ask?”

“No, I can…”

“You can do a lot of things, man. I’m sure of that. I read your files. What do you want?”

“What?”

“What do you want? That’s where we’ve got to start, right? We’ve got to work toward something. That’s what you did in the Army, right? This is just a different war. So let’s fight.”

It’s not easy, but neither one is willing to give up. And after a month and a half of visits, Steve seems ready to take the first step: talking to Bucky.  
_____

Bucky is ready when Steve asks to talk. He knows it’s not that they haven’t talked—it’s just hasn’t been the same. They still sleep in the same bed. Steve, who is always cold now, likes it when Bucky wraps his flesh arm around him. The metal arm still freaks him out a bit—Bucky thinks it might remind him of combat—but he frowned when Bucky offered to take it off. He and Tony are working on a more realistic version regardless.

They sit on the couch. Steve isn’t looking at him. He doesn’t think Steve’s really looked at him for awhile.

“My counselor at the VA is this guy named Sam. He was a pararescue. You know, swooping in and saving people. Him and his partner, Riley. Both of them got to serve together. I used to want that, you know? If you’d had that arm a couple years earlier, I’d have wanted you to come with me.”

“I would have gone with you, anywhere. You know that.”

“I do. And that just could have been the worst thing? Because you know, Riley didn’t make it. Sam saw him get blown out of the sky, just had to watch it happen. And then he was gone.”

“Ah, Jesus. Are you…”

“And I keep thinking about how bad that must be for Sam, because he never gets to see Riley again. But he has all these great memories of him. And then I think about how lucky I am that you survived cancer and your experimental surgery and that I still get to have you. But you don’t get to have me, do you?”

“Steve, I…”

“All I’m giving you now are these bad memories. I don’t talk to you for days, and all you do is take care of me because I can’t figure out how to take care of myself. I’m such a goddamn mess, and I wonder all the time if it wouldn’t be better for you if I’d just disappeared like Riley and you could have remembered who I was rather than trying to deal with who I am now.”

“Babe, no…”

“I told Sam this today, and he thanked me for telling him and told me to tell you. And he told me that I had to admit it before I could get better. But that I could get better. And that we could get better. And that there would be bad days, but there would be good days…and I really want to believe that. And I love you so goddamn much, Buck. Even before all this I could never figure out how I got so lucky as to have you, but you’re here and I’m here, and that’s something. So I wanted to tell you…I want to try harder. But I need you to push me. I don’t need you to do things for me, or to get all my food together, or to make sure all the goddamn air in the goddamn apartment doesn’t have a speck of contaminant in it. I mean, maybe I need some of those things, but I need to help. I need to do something. I just feel so goddamn useless. I used to be in charge of things. I used to have a purpose. I need something, you know?”

Bucky doesn’t trust himself to speak, and he can’t stop crying, so he just reaches for Steve’s hand and nods. 

“I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Bucky gulps, moving his hand along Steve’s arm up to his shoulder, and ultimately resting it on Steve’s cheek.

“The thing is, you don’t have to. I’m with you to the end of the line, pal. You have time to figure this out. I’ll give you space. I’ll give you a push. But I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

Steve breathes in. Breathes out. He puts his hand over the one Bucky placed on his cheek. His eyes are still red, still wet, but when he looks at Bucky, Bucky feels that he can really see Steve. 

He’s skinny and pale and tired. And beautiful. He doesn’t smile, but he nods, slowly, deliberately. 

“Okay.”


	5. Denouement

They get married on a beautiful fall day. Steve is wearing dress blues, Bucky a dark grey suit. Peggy stands up for Steve and Tony does so for Bucky. Sam officiates. Winifred cries, George gives a beautiful speech about how they have supported each through the years, and Bucky’s sisters make sure that Steve gets to rest and that they both have food in front of them at the reception.   
_____

They move to a new apartment in the Tower for a fresh start—Steve gets to have a say in a lot of the design, and Bucky gets to make sure it’s functional.   
_____

Sam convinces Steve to get a dog to help with mobility and to alert them when Steve is having difficulties. Her name is Marvel and she likes eating bones with peanut butter, licking the plates after meals, and looking out for Steve. Bucky runs her Twitter, and she has more followers than most of their friends.

_____

There are still good days, where Steve laughs and tries to draw. They go to museums and have dinner with their friends. 

There are still bad days, when Steve gets ill and Bucky has to call the medical staff Tony keeps on call to alleviate his pain and to give him fluids.   
_____

Steve is painfully thin and uses a cane, and he ends up in the hospital at least once a year, but he still has what Tony calls “a goddamn sunshine smile” 

Bucky still serves as the “guinea pig of prosthetics” for Tony, and eventually gets the shoulder socket replaced with a more durable version. He wakes to find Steve drawing a star on his new arm with Sharpie. He gets Tony to make it permanent.

_____

Bucky and Tony design life-like prosthetics for veterans, then for others who have lost or are missing limbs. To help offset the costs of the project, Tony decides he wants to sell his art collection. 

Pepper ignores Tony and asks for Steve’s assistance. They end up curating exhibits and holding fundraisers and auctions. Steve enjoys the work, and Bucky enjoys teasing him about how is art history major is finally paying off.  
_____

Time passes, and things aren’t always perfect, but they love each other, every day, to the end of the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a Cliff Notes version of the story I have mapped out in my head, so feel free to ask if you have any questions about These Boys and what their life was/is like.
> 
> And thank you for reading!


End file.
